The less I understand the world and its madness, the more I shall paint my own serenity and peace.
We are a complex soup of everything we have ever come into contact with, and an essential part of our microbiome is contact with others, the earth, viruses and bacteria. We have become obsessed with a particular virus, when our bodies carry viruses all the time, usually without harm. All this testing on people without symptoms and then potentially locking down people, whole towns or areas of people who feel well, in mid-summer when the virus is at its least dangerous, with no proof that asymptomatic people pass the virus. It’s all so sketchy, and the collateral damage still so huge. However today I wore a mask for the first time, as the new guidelines have come into effect and I had to buy a large canvas for a commission. It felt so strange to re-breathe my own breath. We inhale oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. It is perfect. It felt so unnatural and made me feel neurotic. It feels like it has become fetishised; both the virus and the mask. Everyone has become somewhat neurotic in their own way. I felt disguised in the mask, and people were less friendly, although that may change. Strange times. Maybe I need to have more faith in authority, but it doesn’t come naturally to me at all. Not when you realise the common denominator of those in power is psychopathy.
I think the best way to think about it is that if I can make a vulnerable person feel safer by wearing a mask then it is worth it.
People on their smart phones and computers arguing about the ethics of mask-wearing, when the components of their smart phones are deeply unethically sourced. Such hypocrisy. Including my own. What do I know about it all really? Very little, and I humbly admit that. Meanwhile nothing has changed and hyper- capitalism continues unabated and the plastic pollution from disposable masks is beyond unthinkable. I have no idea what the future will bring and daily changes re covid make planning anything feel reckless and audacious. I can’t guarantee anything will take place, let alone my workshop in Spain, with people booked in months ago, and a tenuous grip on freedom, which was never really mine, feels so remote and elusive in this new totalitarian world.. I can only hold onto what is tangible and real. And to hope.
So grateful I have painting and family. People are asking for commissions which is something I love to do. I feel my mission is to put beauty and serenity into a world of confusion.