The last time I saw Marcus was on the south bank in London in November 2013 when we met again for a coffee at the Royal Festival Hall. We talked all day, it was emotional, and we laughed and talked and sat and watched the river and the London skyline and when we said our goodbyes at Waterloo station, I knew I would never see him again.
We met for the first time at Bath Academy of Art in Corsham, Wiltshire. We were both studying fine art and I was in my final year and he was in his first year. I saw him wheeling his bicycle into the sculpture school. A beautiful boy with black glossy hair and a leather cap. Our romantic relationship began shortly afterwards.
Marcus Waterloo. Somebody so unique it’s hard to find the words. Marcus was sweet, gentle, handsome, eccentric, ethereal, probably the most ethereal man I have ever met, known or loved. He was the first person to really teach me how to look and listen and just Be in the moment. We were young. We once climbed to the roof of Corsham Court to watch the dawn. We had apples and a telescope. It was magical. He was elusive, he painted with a lot of white and there really always was something otherworldly about him. Something not of this place. He was like Peter Pan.
Marcus was a wonderful cinematographer, director, photographer and artist who lived on a Dutch barge on the Thames. Marcus Waterloo. There has never been anyone with a cooler name or sweeter heart. Bless him.
The last email I wrote him:
Subject: Thank you
Somehow I feel like something transformative happened after our meeting and I felt very at peace but also emotional but calm. Driving back from the station I drove past a place which was on fire and was turned around and had to drive another route through the dark of the countryside.
It reminded me of the scene in Mirror. I returned and my boys were still up and then we all went to sleep. I just awoke from the most incredible dream where you and I were still sitting by the Thames at night. Suddenly there were shooting stars and we saw the aurora borealis accompanied by sounds, deep sounds from the earth and space. There was the shape of an angel in the lights in the sky and then more shooting stars which turned into fireworks, (of course yesterday was 5th Nov..). The dream was so real and profoundly moving and I awoke with a racing heart.
I came downstairs at 4. 14. I think you are an Earth angel. That is why you prefer to journey through life on your own terms. Somehow, seeing you made me cry and I still am crying, tears of release that maybe I have needed to cry for a very long time. Fires, forest fires are symbols of renewal. I do feel like there is profound spiritual change in the air. I have always wanted to see the aurora borealis and maybe one day I will. But I saw it in my dream just now with you and it was very real.
What can I say. I just know that maybe all of life is some kind of dream and have always felt this since childhood and I am so glad you came into mine.
I wish you everything beautiful and more and if we have that cup of tea again one day, that would be wonderful, but if we have to wait a few years til it happens again, that is also fine. May you always be free and unconstrained and your heart be free to soar. You are meant to be free.
Just know that our meeting meant so much to me.
I am going to send that photo of us, but not sure how to attach it.
With huge love,
Marcus passed away on 11/7/2016. Numerologically this date is a number 9, and 11 and 7 are very spiritual numbers. Number 9 is noted to mark the endings of cycles. 2016 is a 9 year.
I didn’t know it was the day he passed away, but that day I took a photo of a huge feather cloud passing over my garden with a full moon in the sky in daylight. It was like a giant angel feather.